First things first, I love being a mom and having Andrew as my husband only makes motherhood that much sweeter. He is the best dad and I must admit I feel like he is enjoying babyhood a lot more than me. Don't get me wrong I love Reed with all my heart and he makes everything I do so much sweeter, but what I love even more is looking at him and then day-dreaming about the little boy he will become and all of the camping trips we will take together, the bike rides we'll go on and how I'll teach him to play soccer as soon as he can walk, maybe sooner. I love imagining our family trips and wondering if Reed will take after me and be a chatter box,
or will he be like his dad, a little more reserved and quiet as a kid?
Who knows, only time will tell.
As awesome as these last few months have been I still find myself wondering how different things would be if my own mother was here to help me along this journey. Sometimes I find myself having conversations with her about Reed and motherhood. I wonder how much she is around and if she is watching me as often as I'm thinking about her and wishing she could be here with me. It is at these times that I think back to the talk I gave at her memorial service when I said, "Mut loved us, that is for sure, but what she wanted us to know even more was how much the Savior loved us and always had," because now is the time when I feel my mothers love through my Savior. While she was here she taught me to love Him and His teachings so much more and now that she is gone it is these teachings that bring me back to her. I still have days where I wish she could see me as a mother and I imagine the conversations we would have; I would complain about something not going right in my life and then she would begin to tell me about this story she just read about a woman who had no legs and only one arm and was raising two girls by herself and then I would immediately feel dumb and guilty and would stop my whining.
These past few months with Reed have been so glorious and wonderful that it's hard to put into words the feelings of my heart and how happy we really are. Maybe it's because I waited so long to get here or that my spirit was always in such a hurry to move forward, but I feel like I was always supposed to be a wife and mother. I love having conversations with Andrew about our family and the other children we want to have and things we want to accomplish together. I love that I found someone who loves and respects everything about womanhood, motherhood and my individual characteristics Since the day we started dating Andrew has always treated me so well and that has been one of the greatest things I love and cherish about him. So, to him I say, come home already and let's watch some episodes of The Office and Modern Family, and to everyone else I say thanks for reading and we will have many more blogs to come, with lots of pics and funny stories.
P.S- This isn't a post unless we mention Rio. So.... I love our dog... but I hate stepping on one of his bones in the middle of the night when I have to get up to feed Reed and the first word out of my mouth are always, 'piss that hurts.' I feel instantly bad because my mom hated that word due to the fact that it was so un-ladylike. Oh well, I still love the fur ball.
